It's Rainin' Men
by Trunks on Toast
Summary: Trunks in a treehouse singing It's Raining Men wearing nothing but toilet paper! what more do you need? (oh yea, and the whole gohan/goten thing...well, just read it!)


disclaimer: don't own DBZ or "it's rainin' men" but I *do* own the toiletpaper *smirks haughtily*  
  
warning: contains slash and incest. nothing graphic, but it's there. . . all in the name of humor, my friend  
  
a/n: this fic has no plot, but there is a very good reason for it. yes. *nods* kinda. it was a challenge from a (sanity-challenged) friend. the elements/requirements/challenges are:  
  
pairing-  
  
gohan/goten  
  
lines that must be included-  
  
"its all about the duct tape"  
  
"i'd like a large pepsi juice please"  
  
"what the hell are u doing with that flag"  
  
"what is dbz?"  
  
things that need to happen-  
  
gohan must do a new chapter dance*  
  
vegeta must be naked in one scene  
  
trunks needs to be wearing toilet paper inside a treehouse singing "its raining men"  
  
*a stupid dance I do whenever someone updates their fic. kinda like gohan's saiyaman dance/assortment of poses, except. . . not.  
  
now, on with the show!  
  
  
  
==============================  
  
  
  
"YEA!!!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!!!!! NEW CHAPTER!!!"  
  
Shouts of joy reverberated throughout the Son household, waking up a peacefully snoozing teenager who promptly fell out of his bed. Goten rubbed his head where it had hit the ground, grumbling incoherently to himself.  
  
"NEW CHAAAAAAAAAPTER!"  
  
Still groggy from sleep, he trudged to his brother's room and threw open the door. Bright light blinded him for a few moments, before his eyes adjusted to see Gohan running through a series of ridiculous poses.  
  
"GOHAN!"  
  
The older boy stopped mid-pose, balancing precariously on his toes, his left leg kicked out to the side, one arm wrapped across his stomach, while the other was extended upwards, carrying a thick leather-bound book. He immediately proceeded to fall on his face.  
  
"Yea bro? What is it?"  
  
"Do you have to do that for EVERY chapter?"  
  
He got himself into a sitting position and grinned up at Goten.  
  
"They're really exciting chapters."  
  
"That doesn't mean you have to dance around every time you start a new one. It's a BOOK, Gohan . . . not a fanfic. You don't have to wait weeks between chapters."  
  
The grin slid off Gohan's face, replaced with an expression that would suggest that his little brother had just beaten a puppy to near death with a spoon and eaten its liver while it was still alive.  
  
"You don't like my new chapter dance?"  
  
"No! I mean, yes! Wait, no . . . yes! No! I love your new chapter dance. It's just . . . I haven't been able to get any sleep since you keep waking me up every hour!"  
  
The grin came back, but this time it was a sly one as he got up and walked over to the sleepy demi-saiyan. He wrapped his arms around Goten from behind and leaned his head forward to whisper in his ear.  
  
"I can find other ways of keeping you up all night, little brother."  
  
Goten groaned softly, arching into the older boy's embrace. A dozen dirty thoughts of what this would undoubtedly lead to, and what this had led to in the past flashed through his mind.  
  
"Nnh . . . Gohan . . ."  
  
Suddenly a not-so-dirty thought popped into his mind, and he immediately snapped out of his horny stupor. He tried to express this thought, but that was very hard to do with a pair of hands in his pants.  
  
"Are you . . . ah . . ..are you sure about . . . ahhnnn . . . this? Mom's in the next room . . . mmm . . . she almost cau . . . AH! . . . caught us last time . . ."  
  
A soft chuckle. He remembered that.  
  
"Almost. We got away with it, right?"  
  
"Well yea, but . . . our excuse was pretty lame."  
  
"What's so lame about telling her that I was practicing CPR on you? It's a valuable skill!"  
  
"We were naked."  
  
"Details details," he murmured, diligently unbuttoning Goten's nightshirt. With that accomplished, he let it fall to the floor and slipped out of his own.  
  
"This time I'll come up with a better one."  
  
"Fine," the teenager relented, too much blood leaving the rational head to go down to the less-than-rational one. "But this time I'm on top."  
  
"No way."  
  
"You were top last time! Besides, you'll be too busy thinking of those excuses."  
  
"I hate you," Gohan gasped out, being suddenly turned around and pressed onto the bed.  
  
"Mmm, love you too!"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Many disturbing noises and strange exclamations later found the two sated Sons snuggling contentedly in a peaceful silence. Suddenly the silence was broken by a loud growling noise. Gohan laughed at the blush spreading across Goten's face, and tousled his wayward hair affectionately.  
  
"Lets go get some breakfast. My treat."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
They flew over to the closest diner, which was nearly deserted being as it was 6 am and no one in the right mind would be up and in public that early. It was just the two of them, and a bored looking girl behind the cash register.  
  
They approached with caution . . . she looked rather scary. She also looked like mornings did not agree with her. Goten tentatively cleared his throat. The girl looked up. Immediately her mouth stretched into a horrifying version of a smile, and her eyes sparkled with an unholy light.  
  
"Can I take your f-ing order?"  
  
He blinked, slightly taken aback. The girl's smile had made him forget what he was going to order.  
  
"I..uh."  
  
She kept smiling at him, her expression never faltering. She was REALLY scary.  
  
"I'd like, uhm . . . I'd like a large Pepsi juice please"  
  
"Is that all?"  
  
He turned to Gohan and asked if he wanted anything. Having never eaten at this diner before, and feeling particularly brave at the moment, Gohan asked the register girl what was good.  
  
"Nothing," she replied, STILL smiling. "Everything tastes like crap. Except for the french fries . . . those taste like fried crap. Crunchy crap. Would you like crunchy crap?"  
  
Alright, that was enough bravery for one day. He told her that no, he wouldn't like anything, thank you, the Pepsi juice would be all.  
  
While they waited for the order they noticed that the girl had stopped smiling, and was now staring at them strangely.  
  
"Hey," she called out, causing the halflings to flinch. "Are you DBZ guys too?"  
  
"DBZ?" Goten scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion. "What is DBZ?"  
  
"Hey, you ARE!" she exclaimed happily. "The only way that someone wouldn't know what DBZ is is if they were IN DBZ!"  
  
"We . . . uh . . . what?"  
  
A look of realization dawned upon her.  
  
"That means I'M in DBZ too! Ohmygod! This is SOOOOOO COOL! No, wait a minute . . . I already knew that when Trunks came by."  
  
"I don't really know what . . ." Gohan started apologetically, but was interrupted but a loud,  
  
"WAIT!"  
  
He waited.  
  
"Then technically I'm not supposed to know that I'm in DBZ either. And why the hell am I working in a diner?! Doesn't make any @#$%^&* sense!"  
  
The brothers slowly made their way to the doors, being extremely careful not to make any sudden movements to attract the girl's attention.  
  
"Hey, where are you guys going?"  
  
Shoot!  
  
"ThanksbutIthinkwe'llpassonthePepsijuicebye!" Goten said in one breath, grabbing the arm of the stunned man next to him and darting outside.  
  
"Whatever," she shrugged, and went back to being bored.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
After flying around aimlessly for a bit, they decided to drop by Capsule Corp. and see if there was anything good to eat there. Maybe they could also find Trunks and spar for a bit.  
  
Eating and fighting . . . what more could two half saiyans ask for?  
  
Well, sex, but it might get a bit awkward with Trunks there. Two out of three isn't that bad.  
  
As soon as they touched down, they were assaulted with a horrible, brain- numbing noise. Gohan fell to the ground clutching his ears, writhing around in pain. .  
  
"IT'S EVERYWHERE! WHERE IS IT COMING FROM?!"  
  
Goten rolled his eyes and dragged the thrashing man to the backyard, where they came to the foot of a giant tree.  
  
In that tree was a treehouse.  
  
In that treehouse was toilet paper.  
  
In that toilet paper was Trunks.  
  
And he was singing It's Rainin' Men very loudly and off key.  
  
"Cause' tonight for the first time, just about half past ten, for the first time in history,  
  
it's gonna start raining men!" he belted out, shuffling around in his makeshift toilet paper pants.  
  
Before Goten got a chance to ask his best friend what the hell he was doing, Bulma stormed out of the house and came to stand next to him, her hands on her hips.  
  
"TRUNKS BRIEFS!" she yelled, just barely being heard over the singing.  
  
"It's rainin' men! Hallelujah it's rainin . . . yea mom?"  
  
"DID YOU TAKE ALL THE TOILET PAPER?"  
  
"Mom, you can stop yelling! I stopped singing!"  
  
"Oh, ok. Well did you?"  
  
"Yup!" he said, floating into the air high enough to show off his special toilet-paper pants. "I used them to make pants," he told them, his chest puffed out with pride.  
  
"Well I need them back."  
  
"Aww, but mom . . . "  
  
"No buts, mister! Come on, give me the toilet paper!"  
  
He sighed dolefully and promptly unraveled his pants, tossing the long stream of white paper down to Bulma.  
  
"Thanks!" She started walking back inside, completely disregarding the fact that her son was floating 15 feet in the air buck-naked.  
  
Trunks sighed and floated back down to the tree-house, sitting down on the wooden floor with a plop.  
  
After trying to process what just happened (and failing miserably), Goten remembered what he was going to ask his friend.  
  
"Uh, Trunks? Why were you singing It's Rainin' Men?"  
  
Gohan was still recovering from that.  
  
The purple-haired boy grinned and stood up, leaning over the wall/fence thingy to inform them of his brilliant discovery.  
  
"Ok, so I was thinking . . ."  
  
"Wait a sec," he cut in, flying up to the flagpole that displayed the CC flag and yanked it off, tossing the large rectangle of material to the nude boy. "Ok, go on."  
  
"Whenever we go to a battle, we all fly there, right?" he asked, struggling to make the flag into a toga. "And people STILL can't believe we fly . . . even though we do it all the time. In broad daylight. So to them it must look like we're falling out of the sky."  
  
"I . . . guess."  
  
"Guys falling out of the sky . . . raining men . . . get it??"  
  
"I..uh . . . WHAT?! Trunks, has Vegeta been training you too hard again?"  
  
Instead of answering, he continued singing with a renewed vigor.  
  
"It's rainin men, hallelujah it's raining men, every special men! Tall blonde dark and lean, rough and tough and strong and mean!"  
  
"Well I guess he had to snap sooner or later," Goten mumbled resignedly, shaking his brother to get him to come out of his petrified state.  
  
Gohan blinked slowly, looking around to get his bearings while desperately trying to block out that hideous noise. His eyes came to rest upon the very source of that noise, who was tangled up in a rather large flag.  
  
"What the hell are you doing with that flag?" he asked incredulously.  
  
"Making a toga!" Trunks replied matter-of-factly. "She fought every Angel, to rearrange the sky, so that each and every woman, could find the perfect guy, it's rainin men!"  
  
"Why are you . . . never mind," he shook his head. He REALLY didn't want to know.  
  
"Come on, lets go look for food," he said to Goten, quickly walking to the dome building.  
  
The youngest Son stood in the yard contemplating whether to get Trunks some pants or knock him out, before he realized how hungry he was and decided to get food instead.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When he walked into the kitchen he found Gohan and Bulma sitting at a table, deep in conversation.  
  
"It's all about the duct tape," he informed her, stuffing various food items into his mouth. She nodded with fascination.  
  
Goten immediately blushed.  
  
"Gohan!" he called out accusingly. "I thought you said we weren't supposed to talk about our bedroom . . ."  
  
"Hey there bro!" Gohan said quickly, eyes widening in panic as he willed his lover to stay silent until he finished. "I was just telling Bulma how she can fix stuff when Trunks and Vegeta keep breaking them!"  
  
He blinked.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Well . . . now he felt silly.  
  
"Your bedroom what?" queried the blue-haired heiress, wondering what was getting Gohan so worked up.  
  
"Bedroom, uh, re-decorating!" he exclaimed loudly, following it with nervous laughter. "He wants it to be a big secret."  
  
"Mmm hmm . . ." She arched her eyebrow, staring at them over the rim of her cup as she sipped her coffee. "Of course."  
  
There was awkward silence, and strains of It's Rainin' Men floating in through the open window. Bulma rolled her eyes.  
  
"Can you guys go get Vegeta? I think he's upstairs. Maybe he can knock some sense into that kid . . . he's driving me nuts!"  
  
"Sure!" Goten bolted to the stairway, eager to escape from her knowing look. He ran upstairs, flung open the door of the first room he came to, and found himself staring at a very naked Vegeta.  
  
"OH MY GOD!"  
  
He promptly slapped his hands over his eyes, crumpling to the floor and curling up in a fetal position.  
  
"What's WRONG with you, Vegeta?! For the love of everything holy, put some clothes on! Geez, what is WITH this family?!"  
  
The shorter man simply rolled his eyes and waited until Goten calmed down to reply witheringly, "I'm taking a shower, you idiot."  
  
He slowly moved his hands away from his face, and realized that he was in the bathroom where Vegeta was, indeed, taking a shower.  
  
"Aww man, do you HAVE to have those clear glass sliding doors? Can't you get the frosted ones?"  
  
"Get out of here brat," he snarled, reaching for the shampoo.  
  
"Or curtains? Something?"  
  
"Out!"  
  
"Because it's very distracting trying to talk to you when you're naked..hey neat! Your hair goes down when it's wet!"  
  
"LEAVE!"  
  
Right then Gohan came stumbling through the door, running right into Goten who had finally managed to get up, only to fall to the ground again in a tangle of limbs.  
  
"Gah, Bulma's driving me insane! She . . ." he looked up.  
  
"OH MY GOD! NAKED VEGETA!"  
  
"Alright, that is IT! BIG BANG ATTACK!"  
  
The two unsuspecting boys were blown right through the wall into the back yard, where Trunks caught a glimpse of their burned bodied before they fell to the ground.  
  
"Hmm, so it IS raining men," he remarked to himself curiously.  
  
Having finally finished his CC flag toga, he decided to fly over to the nearby diner. For some reason the scary girl that worked there always gave him free food.  
  
Meanwhile Bulma sat on the kitchen floor, Vegeta's attack having shaken the whole building and causing her to fall out of her chair. She sighed and got up, pushing the chair in before making her way to the lab.  
  
"Guess I better get that duct tape . . ."  
  
END. 


End file.
